Crane pose rocks my world

There is a really cool yoga move from Sirsasana II to Crane. Its one of those hit and miss things for me. Sometimes I can do it, and other times I get stuck and sometimes I fall flat on my ass. Yesterday in training I was asked to demo it and I froze. I know one of the ingredients for tilting back for me is to relax the tip of my tailbone. The root chakra. The chakra that governs, among other things, birth, survival,  and independence. It is described as the gateway to human connection on earth. This was one of the last poses we worked on in our training together. Honestly I think what was holding me back in the pose was that the heavy realization that this extraordinary pod of training peeps was literally moments away from graduation. I was holding on to those last precious moments with all the energy I could muster. I mean, a crane couldn't have pried me into crane pose. I didn't want to let go.

Interestingly enough it was this very move that about a year ago propelled me forward to even step onto the teaching path. For over five years I'd been thinking that I wanted to teach yoga for recovery. Of course step one was to find recovery for myself, a huge detail that kicked my ass until January 07. Even in sobriety it took me about a year to even verbalize my idea to anyone. That's a really long time to keep your heart's desire locked in. So here I was in Kira's yoga class one morning, practicing the Sir II to Crane move and I got stuck. Kira in her most amazing and lovely way just sat right next to me and whispered 'just keep going, relax, keep going' and whammo, I tilted back and balanced in crane. When I went home after practice that day I knew I clearly had a choice. I could either keep my dream of teaching yoga for recovery locked in my heart or I could 'keep going' somehow, someway. 

That was it. I just couldn't keep it inside a minute longer. So over lunch that day I told my boyfriend that I wanted to teach. He listened to me ramble on with "I have this dream of what I want to do but I'm so scared. I don't know how, I don't know if I can do it, its a crazy idea, but this dream won't go away and I don't know what to do about it." I told him I had landed in crane pose because I finally heard 'just keep going' and I felt it was a message bigger than a pose. That raised his eyebrows a bit, but he just sat and patiently listened, not saying a word. After a long silence he just looked at me and said, "Rock on, baby".  Code for follow your heart and trust the universe. 

Mystic messages aside, I was still baffled on how to proceed. I knew I loved Kira and how she teaches so about a month later I innocently asked her about her upcoming teacher training. I swear, once you put your heart's intentions out in the universe, it doesn't allow you to get away with crap. Especially when your talking to an angel. Kira's big brown eyes gazed right into mine and she asked, 'what's this really all about?'. I froze in fear, did a quick energy check, and just knew it was totally safe to share. Everything. Including my less than yogic side of drug abuse and recovery, divorce, and desperate climb back into life. Come on, this isn't the stuff one discloses in the same breath as 'and I want to teach yoga'. 

"Start teaching", she said." If you'd like, do it at Lulu's." When I started in on the 'I don't know how, I'm scared, blah blah blah" she lovingly offered, "I support you and I'll help you every step of the way".  And true to her word she's done that. She's been by my side and in my heart ever since. And that's exactly how One Breath at a Time made its way out into the world. 

That was six months ago. 17 One Breath classses, and one amazing 10 day workshop and I'm still just beginning to play with rolling into Crane. And just like crane pose, sometimes teaching flows smoothly, sometimes I get frozen and sometimes I fall on my ass. But that's the small details. Asking for help, following my heart, going after my dreams is a much bigger trip altogether. I've found, however, that its not scary and lonely after all. In fact I've met some extraordinary people along the way and developed relationships that rock my soul. For me, that's yoga at its finest.