Out of the blue, On to the IRS

In January 2004, during my first teacher training, while lying in savasana in a pool of my own sweat, it came ‘out of the blue’ that I should teach yoga for recovering alcoholics and addicts. I spent the next six months wondering if it was ethical to teach to this population if I would continue to drink. When the impossibility of that situation became clear, I dismissed the whole idea and forgot about it. Soon, it got too painful to be a drinker and teach yoga of any sort to any group. Not if you drank the way I drank. Eventually I quit teaching all together. Shortly thereafter I quit practicing. Within 3 months I found myself in an alcohol treatment center. One thing I know for sure. While it’s hard to follow your heart, its even harder to ignore it. 

In treatment I used to practice to Rodney Yee’s AM/PM,  and Seane Corn’s vinyasa videos. A few girls began to join me, and eventually we ditched the tapes all together and I lead them through a few practices. I guess you could say it was my first ‘yoga for recovery’ class. While at the facility, my idea of teaching yoga to recovering folks mysteriously resurfaced. The first time I vocalized my idea was in a ‘Dare to Dream’ workshop we did in the last week of treatment. I still have the piece of paper where I wrote down my dreams (which also included owning a dog!), and I remember how scared I was to say I want to teach yoga for recovery out loud to the group.

 It took a full year after treatment for me to even talk about it again. Once out of my mouth, however, its has been non-stop bop. Not that it has been easy, in fact, it has been a huge amount of work and has challenged me to my core. But I’ve enjoyed it so much, I’m scarcely bothered. Today I teach over 100 peeps a month ‘Yoga for Recovery’ and am amazed at the power of intention, the grace of God, and the great fortune of immense help from earth angels along the way.

 I’ve wrestled with the possibility of forming a non-profit to further this cause. The application process alone is a whopping amount of paper, a decent chunk of change, and not nearly as much fun as hanging on the mat. I think it is a minor miracle I’ve made my way through the application process. It is not necessarily the ‘work’, but rather my dark side that kept questioning and doubting the whole enchilada, ‘are you CRAZY?” This whole idea came ‘out of the blue’,  and into Yoga Blue, Inc? Girlfriend, you are dreaming.

 Its true. Yoga Blue is a dream come true. Tonight there is something quite magical about seeing this ‘out of the blue’ vision from 5 years ago all laid out in black and white in my 501c3 application to the IRS for non-profit status. I put the finishing touches on the application this afternoon and its ready to mail tomorrow morning. All the blood, sweat and tears it has taken, including getting sober, in this moment are worth it.  Even it if only makes it to the desk of some IRS agent with a big red stamp that says, ‘application denied’. As I sit this evening with a fluffy little dog at my feet, and my application for Yoga Blue, Inc. at my fingertips, tonight feels special. 

Tomorrow, another chapter begins. Yoga Blue sails off to the wild blue IRS yonder. I pray for the grace to let go of the outcome with every ounce of yoga I can muster.